Prosecco Fairies and Breakfast Bagels - Top Tips for a Smooth Wedding Day

I am lucky enough to have recently returned to the UK armed with a brand new name, a snazzy diamond and a hunky man on my arm. I am that mystical creature – foreign to all brides-to-be.

I am a newly-wed.

The newly-wed is a daunting, and frightening thing – which the bride-to-be holds in high esteem, awe and – to some extent – envy. The newly-wed strikes fear and uncertainty into the heart of the anxious, stressed-out bride-to-be, and poses some soul-searching questions.

How the hell did she do it?

Why wasn’t she as stressed and scared as I am?

Can I possibly ever be that happy?

These are reasonable questions, especially when you’re living the all-encompassing life of a wedding planner, partner, household runner and full-time-job-holder – simultaneously. But honestly, I can assure you that there is a light at the end of the tunnel and your day (and days beyond) will be something special. But there is a certain amount of realities to accept, to help your day run as smoothly as possible.

Your day will be perfect. But it won’t be without imperfections.

The trouble with planning something as big as a wedding (the average engagement lasts two years, which is 730 long days of scrutinising over just one, little day) is that you run through every tiny detail – along with that detail’s alternative – around a million times an hour.

In your head, you have the perfect day, organised down to a tee. What you will eat, what time you will eat – the amount of time between getting married and eating; the amount of time between eating and then eating again. How you’ll entertain your guests, how much champagne to ply them with (and will that be too much? Or too little?) How long the speeches should last before your guests become bored, what time drinks should be served till – what drinks will actually be served. How far there is to walk, how much room there is to dance, how much time there is to dance –

You get the idea.

But here’s the thing. Timings overrun. The food isn’t always eaten. Guests can choose not to dance. And some people don’t even like champagne.

Take my day as an example.

I wanted to make an entrance. I wanted to be graceful and gorgeous – I wanted to make my groom cry. There was a particular point in my ‘entrance’ music that I wanted to walk down the aisle (big shout out to Ludovico Einaudi). I would listen to the music at home and I would know the exact point when each of my bridesmaids should walk down the aisle (sad – I know). And I knew the exact moment I would follow on – right at the peak of the track. It would be beautiful – everyone would cry and I would feel overwhelmed with joy.

Did that happen?

Did it bollocks.

What actually happened was this…

I didn’t even hear the music because I was hidden away down some steps waiting for my big moment. I waited until I got bored and then told my Dad it was time to make a move. At this point I realised I’d never actually practised walking in my dress – I’d only ever stood in the mirror in the bridal shop and twirled around in it. Cue me – tripping over my dress, hitching it up around my waist whilst telling my Dad to just ‘let me walk myself, because you keep standing on it’ whilst everyone fell around laughing at me and my fiancé called out from the altar – ‘do you need a piggyback, love?’

Was it the moment I imagined? No.

But did it make the day all the more special? Of course it did. Who doesn’t like a clumsy bride, a giggle and a little bit of tension broken?

The key is to let the day unfold as it wants to. In reality, you just can’t plan for every little thing. But you can smile, relax, and enjoy every precious moment.

Give yourself too much time to get ready

My wedding morning was ever so relaxing. So much so, that I was still sitting around drinking cups of tea and watching ‘Say Yes To The Dress’ at 10am, when I should have been putting my make-up on. I watched my MOH apply her make-up and have her hair done (big shout out to The Catwalk Look Hair) thinking ‘Doesn’t she look lovely? What a fabulous day we’re going to have’ – at which point I was promptly told to ‘just get in the shower’.

At around 10:30am I decided to ‘pop off and do my make-up’ – bearing in mind that I had planned to be ready, in my dress and relaxing with a bucks fizz by 11am – at which point I had a make-up melt down and ran – screaming – into my MOH’s room, to inform her that I had ‘gone flaky’ and there was a ‘weird contour line which wouldn’t blend.’

After a mild panic (!!!!) I decided there wasn’t enough time to do it all again, so I scrubbed just one side of my face clean to redo it. I then had my photographer (big shout out to Golpys Photography) desperate to take a ‘make up shot’ whilst I ran around wearing a veil, a dressing gown, a melted face and glugging back bucks fizz (minus the orange juice) and screaming for someone to ‘just answer the door’ – as the rest of my bridesmaids and ushers arrived all at once.

Top tip? Just don’t do what I did. Have a lovely, relaxing morning by all means, but please give yourself an extra two hours to get ready than you normally would. This isn’t a trip down the off-licence – it’s your wedding day.

Do something ‘normal’ to stave off nerves

I was the first person to wake up on my wedding morning. My MOH was softly sleeping in the bed beside me, and my mum was off in her own room (jammy) snoring away. I woke at 3am with a slightly groggy head (too much prosecco the night before) and lay awake till about 6am. All the while, the nerves started to creep in. So I decided to get up and do something to keep me occupied.

We were staying in adjoining apartments – my groom, step kids and groomsmen were in the one next door – and I’d brought breakfast items for all of us. So, I made everyone breakfast. All  seven of us. By the time I’d made seven bacon and cream cheese bagels, cups of tea and glasses of juice, the nerves had gone. I think something about that normal activity just made me feel grounded.

I particularly enjoyed sneaking into my groom’s apartment, delivering breakfast and having a cheeky snog. I know it’s not traditional, but being in touch with my groom throughout the morning made both of just feel even more excited. Especially when I called him at about 10am ‘for a chat’ and he told me he was at the park with the kids playing Pokemon Go. As you do. No pressure to get ready for a wedding or anything (not that I am one to talk).

Take some time out, just the two of you

Your wedding day will go super-fast. I know that everyone says this and you’re probably sick of hearing it, but it really does. I was chatting to the staff at our venue (big shout out to Louise, Fiona and Alex at Avenham Park) about changing the tables around for the evening, when my mind was still in ‘I do’ mode. Blink and you’d miss it. So it’s really important just to take some time out with your new hubby – even if it’s a quick walk back to the room to change your footwear (my flat pumps were a godsend).

A little bit unorthodox – but we actually had a campervan come to pick us up at around 9pm, and take us for a little spin for an hour so that we could have some alone time. It wasn’t intended that way. We were originally leaving the party early and going back to our apartment, but as the weeks went by we decided we’d actually quite like to stay and party. But we loved the campervan idea, so we kept the booking and it was one of my favourite moments of the day.

We were married at The Belvedere at Avenham Park, which is a small Victorian building hidden away on top of a hill and behind some trees at the park. The reception was at the other end of the park, in the Pavillion café – so we decided to drive back up the hill in our campervan and crack open the bubbly at our ceremony venue, afterhours. 

Our driver, Rob (big shout out to Fab VW) parked outside the Belvedere and then toddled off for a little walk, leaving us to sip our champagne and chat about the day. It was the most beautiful thing, being back in the place we’d been married just hours before – the decorations and chairs packed away, just a scattering of confetti on the floor, the lampposts flickering on in the twilight and being able to reflect in the absolute pure silence around us.

It was the perfect finishing touch. And of course, when we arrived back at the reception, we partied like animals.

Make a plan to avoid the bar at all costs

If you’re lucky (like I was) you’ll land yourself a magical Prosecco Fairy to keep your glass topped up all day long (big shout out to the MOH). This, by the way, was not intentional. Taking money along with me was just not at the forefront of my mind – neither was taking the key to the apartment or anything else mildly practical. My MOH (and all my best girlies) ensured I was never without a drink. If ever my glass was empty, another would be placed in my hand. This is one detail which didn’t enter my head before the big day (shock) but it really did make a huge difference. I can’t imagine wasting time at the bar queuing, or going ‘thirsty’ for long periods of time. My day flowed like a dream – and it’s something I would recommend to every bride-to-be.

But if you’d prefer to be more prepared than I was (and who wouldn’t?) give your MOH, or a close family member, a wad of notes several days before the big day. Tell them you want to have a full glass throughout the whole evening, and here are the funds for said glass top-ups.

Stress-free and no need to feel indebted.   

Accept that there is a 99.9% chance you won’t consummate on your wedding night

There’s just too much champagne consumed. Too much dancing and too many long and emotional hours.  Regardless  of those ‘you’re gonna get it good, later’ longing looks across the table – or those flirty kisses and cheeky gropes on the dancefloor – by the time you get back to your room on your wedding night, you’ll be lucky to get out of your clothes unscathed, let alone anything else.

Although – big shout out to the MOH for trying to encourage the mood. Waking up the following morning with confetti on our hair, a ‘congratulations’ banner strewn on the bed underneath us, and finding a candy thong and nipple tassles in the ‘honeymoon pack’ she’d left beside the bed for us, was worth a giggle and a ‘fair play’.

Although her plan backfired when we decided to wear said items and whatsapp pictures to her. I’m told this is a sight she can never unsee.

So that’s it. My top tips for a fabulous wedding day – do with them as you wish. But just remember this one thing –

Smile often.

Smile even if one of your guests has pissed you off, or if you manage to prick your arm on your groom’s buttonhole and get blood all down your dress (yes, that happened). Smile if the music is a bit crap, if your food is served late – smile if your feet are sore and you just don’t want to pose any more for the camera. Smile if the sun doesn’t shine – or if it does shine and you feel too hot.

Just smile. You’re a married woman now – your hubby is the hottest thing since sliced bread, all your best mates are here, your mum is giving it large to some dodgy funky house track, and your baby brother actually made an effort and wore a suit (hurrah!)

This is your day. Just enjoy it. And if all else fails – give that empty glass a tap. Your Prosecco Fairy will sort you out.

NB: One other thing - big shout out to Ann Shaw (Mother of the MOH) for our fabulous naked cake.

NBB: One other thing - if you're ever offered the chance to ride up to your wedding venue in a tractor - or to ride in a tractor full stop - do it. Totally worth it!