Prosecco Fairies and Breakfast Bagels - Top Tips for a Smooth Wedding Day

I am lucky enough to have recently returned to the UK armed with a brand new name, a snazzy diamond and a hunky man on my arm. I am that mystical creature – foreign to all brides-to-be.

I am a newly-wed.

The newly-wed is a daunting, and frightening thing – which the bride-to-be holds in high esteem, awe and – to some extent – envy. The newly-wed strikes fear and uncertainty into the heart of the anxious, stressed-out bride-to-be, and poses some soul-searching questions.

How the hell did she do it?

Why wasn’t she as stressed and scared as I am?

Can I possibly ever be that happy?

These are reasonable questions, especially when you’re living the all-encompassing life of a wedding planner, partner, household runner and full-time-job-holder – simultaneously. But honestly, I can assure you that there is a light at the end of the tunnel and your day (and days beyond) will be something special. But there is a certain amount of realities to accept, to help your day run as smoothly as possible.

Your day will be perfect. But it won’t be without imperfections.

The trouble with planning something as big as a wedding (the average engagement lasts two years, which is 730 long days of scrutinising over just one, little day) is that you run through every tiny detail – along with that detail’s alternative – around a million times an hour.

In your head, you have the perfect day, organised down to a tee. What you will eat, what time you will eat – the amount of time between getting married and eating; the amount of time between eating and then eating again. How you’ll entertain your guests, how much champagne to ply them with (and will that be too much? Or too little?) How long the speeches should last before your guests become bored, what time drinks should be served till – what drinks will actually be served. How far there is to walk, how much room there is to dance, how much time there is to dance –

You get the idea.

But here’s the thing. Timings overrun. The food isn’t always eaten. Guests can choose not to dance. And some people don’t even like champagne.

Take my day as an example.

I wanted to make an entrance. I wanted to be graceful and gorgeous – I wanted to make my groom cry. There was a particular point in my ‘entrance’ music that I wanted to walk down the aisle (big shout out to Ludovico Einaudi). I would listen to the music at home and I would know the exact point when each of my bridesmaids should walk down the aisle (sad – I know). And I knew the exact moment I would follow on – right at the peak of the track. It would be beautiful – everyone would cry and I would feel overwhelmed with joy.

Did that happen?

Did it bollocks.

What actually happened was this…

I didn’t even hear the music because I was hidden away down some steps waiting for my big moment. I waited until I got bored and then told my Dad it was time to make a move. At this point I realised I’d never actually practised walking in my dress – I’d only ever stood in the mirror in the bridal shop and twirled around in it. Cue me – tripping over my dress, hitching it up around my waist whilst telling my Dad to just ‘let me walk myself, because you keep standing on it’ whilst everyone fell around laughing at me and my fiancé called out from the altar – ‘do you need a piggyback, love?’

Was it the moment I imagined? No.

But did it make the day all the more special? Of course it did. Who doesn’t like a clumsy bride, a giggle and a little bit of tension broken?

The key is to let the day unfold as it wants to. In reality, you just can’t plan for every little thing. But you can smile, relax, and enjoy every precious moment.

Give yourself too much time to get ready

My wedding morning was ever so relaxing. So much so, that I was still sitting around drinking cups of tea and watching ‘Say Yes To The Dress’ at 10am, when I should have been putting my make-up on. I watched my MOH apply her make-up and have her hair done (big shout out to The Catwalk Look Hair) thinking ‘Doesn’t she look lovely? What a fabulous day we’re going to have’ – at which point I was promptly told to ‘just get in the shower’.

At around 10:30am I decided to ‘pop off and do my make-up’ – bearing in mind that I had planned to be ready, in my dress and relaxing with a bucks fizz by 11am – at which point I had a make-up melt down and ran – screaming – into my MOH’s room, to inform her that I had ‘gone flaky’ and there was a ‘weird contour line which wouldn’t blend.’

After a mild panic (!!!!) I decided there wasn’t enough time to do it all again, so I scrubbed just one side of my face clean to redo it. I then had my photographer (big shout out to Golpys Photography) desperate to take a ‘make up shot’ whilst I ran around wearing a veil, a dressing gown, a melted face and glugging back bucks fizz (minus the orange juice) and screaming for someone to ‘just answer the door’ – as the rest of my bridesmaids and ushers arrived all at once.

Top tip? Just don’t do what I did. Have a lovely, relaxing morning by all means, but please give yourself an extra two hours to get ready than you normally would. This isn’t a trip down the off-licence – it’s your wedding day.

Do something ‘normal’ to stave off nerves

I was the first person to wake up on my wedding morning. My MOH was softly sleeping in the bed beside me, and my mum was off in her own room (jammy) snoring away. I woke at 3am with a slightly groggy head (too much prosecco the night before) and lay awake till about 6am. All the while, the nerves started to creep in. So I decided to get up and do something to keep me occupied.

We were staying in adjoining apartments – my groom, step kids and groomsmen were in the one next door – and I’d brought breakfast items for all of us. So, I made everyone breakfast. All  seven of us. By the time I’d made seven bacon and cream cheese bagels, cups of tea and glasses of juice, the nerves had gone. I think something about that normal activity just made me feel grounded.

I particularly enjoyed sneaking into my groom’s apartment, delivering breakfast and having a cheeky snog. I know it’s not traditional, but being in touch with my groom throughout the morning made both of just feel even more excited. Especially when I called him at about 10am ‘for a chat’ and he told me he was at the park with the kids playing Pokemon Go. As you do. No pressure to get ready for a wedding or anything (not that I am one to talk).

Take some time out, just the two of you

Your wedding day will go super-fast. I know that everyone says this and you’re probably sick of hearing it, but it really does. I was chatting to the staff at our venue (big shout out to Louise, Fiona and Alex at Avenham Park) about changing the tables around for the evening, when my mind was still in ‘I do’ mode. Blink and you’d miss it. So it’s really important just to take some time out with your new hubby – even if it’s a quick walk back to the room to change your footwear (my flat pumps were a godsend).

A little bit unorthodox – but we actually had a campervan come to pick us up at around 9pm, and take us for a little spin for an hour so that we could have some alone time. It wasn’t intended that way. We were originally leaving the party early and going back to our apartment, but as the weeks went by we decided we’d actually quite like to stay and party. But we loved the campervan idea, so we kept the booking and it was one of my favourite moments of the day.

We were married at The Belvedere at Avenham Park, which is a small Victorian building hidden away on top of a hill and behind some trees at the park. The reception was at the other end of the park, in the Pavillion café – so we decided to drive back up the hill in our campervan and crack open the bubbly at our ceremony venue, afterhours. 

Our driver, Rob (big shout out to Fab VW) parked outside the Belvedere and then toddled off for a little walk, leaving us to sip our champagne and chat about the day. It was the most beautiful thing, being back in the place we’d been married just hours before – the decorations and chairs packed away, just a scattering of confetti on the floor, the lampposts flickering on in the twilight and being able to reflect in the absolute pure silence around us.

It was the perfect finishing touch. And of course, when we arrived back at the reception, we partied like animals.

Make a plan to avoid the bar at all costs

If you’re lucky (like I was) you’ll land yourself a magical Prosecco Fairy to keep your glass topped up all day long (big shout out to the MOH). This, by the way, was not intentional. Taking money along with me was just not at the forefront of my mind – neither was taking the key to the apartment or anything else mildly practical. My MOH (and all my best girlies) ensured I was never without a drink. If ever my glass was empty, another would be placed in my hand. This is one detail which didn’t enter my head before the big day (shock) but it really did make a huge difference. I can’t imagine wasting time at the bar queuing, or going ‘thirsty’ for long periods of time. My day flowed like a dream – and it’s something I would recommend to every bride-to-be.

But if you’d prefer to be more prepared than I was (and who wouldn’t?) give your MOH, or a close family member, a wad of notes several days before the big day. Tell them you want to have a full glass throughout the whole evening, and here are the funds for said glass top-ups.

Stress-free and no need to feel indebted.   

Accept that there is a 99.9% chance you won’t consummate on your wedding night

There’s just too much champagne consumed. Too much dancing and too many long and emotional hours.  Regardless  of those ‘you’re gonna get it good, later’ longing looks across the table – or those flirty kisses and cheeky gropes on the dancefloor – by the time you get back to your room on your wedding night, you’ll be lucky to get out of your clothes unscathed, let alone anything else.

Although – big shout out to the MOH for trying to encourage the mood. Waking up the following morning with confetti on our hair, a ‘congratulations’ banner strewn on the bed underneath us, and finding a candy thong and nipple tassles in the ‘honeymoon pack’ she’d left beside the bed for us, was worth a giggle and a ‘fair play’.

Although her plan backfired when we decided to wear said items and whatsapp pictures to her. I’m told this is a sight she can never unsee.

So that’s it. My top tips for a fabulous wedding day – do with them as you wish. But just remember this one thing –

Smile often.

Smile even if one of your guests has pissed you off, or if you manage to prick your arm on your groom’s buttonhole and get blood all down your dress (yes, that happened). Smile if the music is a bit crap, if your food is served late – smile if your feet are sore and you just don’t want to pose any more for the camera. Smile if the sun doesn’t shine – or if it does shine and you feel too hot.

Just smile. You’re a married woman now – your hubby is the hottest thing since sliced bread, all your best mates are here, your mum is giving it large to some dodgy funky house track, and your baby brother actually made an effort and wore a suit (hurrah!)

This is your day. Just enjoy it. And if all else fails – give that empty glass a tap. Your Prosecco Fairy will sort you out.

NB: One other thing - big shout out to Ann Shaw (Mother of the MOH) for our fabulous naked cake.

NBB: One other thing - if you're ever offered the chance to ride up to your wedding venue in a tractor - or to ride in a tractor full stop - do it. Totally worth it! 

How to manage your guests, without going all Bridezilla

One week before the wedding, I had a phone call which almost sent me over the edge. It was my Grandad.

“Hiya love. Guess where your nan and I are now?”

I paused for effect. “The wedding venue, by any chance?” (He’d already prepped me three days prior that he would be visiting the place, so it wasn’t difficult to figure out.)

“Yes. We’re here now, just having a bite to eat.”

“Lovely.”

“And we’re just wondering, love – ”

Here we go

“ – where do we need to get dropped off in the mini bus? ‘Cause it’s quite a walk you know, from the road to the ceremony? And I just couldn’t get that postcode you gave me to work on the sat nav –”

It wasn’t a ridiculous question. It was a perfectly reasonable question, asked in a perfectly reasonable way. But it was the latest in a whole succession of questions – a barrage of which, never even occurred to me when we started to plan the wedding.

It was one question too many.

I took a deep breath, calmly repeated the instructions I’d given him just a couple of days before, whilst Facebook messaging the fiancé – ‘I need fucking Prozac! Stat!’

He replied: ‘Lol’

Helpful.

Weddings are beautiful. They’re a celebration of two people who love one another so much, that they want to share that love with the whole world. They want to share a name, share legal rights, share possessions – and share each other for their whole lives.  

But weddings are stressful too. Man, are they stressful.

“What happens after the ceremony?”

“Do we have to have our picture taken?”

“Have you booked a photographer?”

“What time are you getting married?”

“Will there be food there?”

“What shall I wear?”

“How shall I get there?”

“How will I get home?”

“Who will look after my children?”

“Who’s going to let the dog out for me?”

“Where is it again?”

Jesus Christ.

Myself, as a wedding guest, am quite a simple creature. The invitation arrives in the post. I read it, make a note of the date (in my head) and RSVP in the preferred way. Then, the whole event is forgotten, until I notice Facebook posts from the bride-to-be, citing just how close the big day has become.

Shit – that means it’s time to dig the invite out again. And so I do (after throwing cutlery, receipts and bills all over the kitchen) notice that it’s just a couple of weeks away, double check that we are (definitely) free, and then do a quick Google search of the area to assess taxis, hotels and all the other logistics that go into rocking up at a wedding.

Then, I simply arrive on the day and let the events unfold.

But not everyone has this same procedure for Being A Wedding Guest. Particularly not the people closest to you. The mistake I made was to assume that people would just read the invitation, and turn up. I wasn’t prepared for the constant nit picking of other people’s personal lives, and how your one Big Day will affect them. And because I wasn’t prepared for it – I didn’t know how to handle it.

The fiancé, when we first starting planning, suggested that we include an information pack with the invites. A map of the venue, and where different events would be taking place, a list of hotels in the area, taxi numbers, parking facilities – the times everything would happen.

But I dismissed the idea as silly, and a bit unnecessary – not to mention expensive.

My advice? Unless you’re getting married feet away from your own doorstep, if your guests have to travel even a short way, if you think your venue is even the least bit difficult to access?

Spend the money. Make the info pack. And send it out with your invites.

It will save you months of anxiety, stress and panic. When you have the enormous task of planning a wedding to contend with, the last thing you need is other people’s timescales, travel plans, childcare and accommodation worries to add to the stress.

Maybe you’ll only get one concern per guest. But when you multiply that one question by the number of guests – that anxiety soon adds up.

If you've been clear on your ‘no children’ rule, stand your ground. Imagine Guest Number One rocking up with a whole brood, when Guest Number Two sold their liver on the black market just to get a sitter.

So how best to deal with it?

Top Tips: Ease Stress and Manage Your Guests Effectively

• Remember your guests are not out to get you.

You chose these people to be at your wedding because they are the most important people in the world to you. Your guests are asking questions because they are excited for your big day. They don’t want to miss anything – they want to see you marry the love of your life. They want to be there to share in your happiness. They don’t want to turn up late, or park in the wrong place and miss hearing you say the ‘I do’s’. They’re not asking questions to stress you out, they’re asking questions because they love you.

• Try to deal with each concerned guest as an individual.

Ok, so you’ve just been asked ‘what time is the wedding’ for the umpteenth time. What you want to do is scream: ‘Just read the fucking invitation, for fucks’ sake!!’ But you can’t – because that would be rude and probably quite upsetting for the poor person who just wants to arrive on time. Smile, answer the question, and remember – this may be the umpteenth time you’ve heard this – but it could be the first time this particular person has asked the question.

•             Remember that other people have busy lives.

It is so easy to think the world revolves around your wedding. You’ve been saving for God knows how long, the only thing on your social calendar at the moment is either the actual wedding day or smaller events focused around the wedding (hen party, stag party, meeting the caterers, meeting the photographer, meeting the venue dresser) so it’s little wonder you probably have no idea what is going on in anybody else’s life. But it is important to take a step back and be rational – because you know how busy you feel right now planning the wedding? That’s how busy your guests currently feel, with their full time job, new promotion, running their own business, looking after three kids, running a household or caring for relatives. The world does not actually revolve around your day. And that invitation you sent out? It’s probably gathering dust somewhere, hidden under mounds of kids’ toys and utility bills. Not ideal, but that’s just the way it is.

•            Manage logistics early, and plan ahead

If you’re still in the early stages of planning, and you’ve yet to send out your invitations, please, please for the love of God – consider the information pack. Or even create your own website to help with the planning process. Try http://www.gettingmarried.co.uk/ - it gives your guests an online RSVP facility, maps of the venue and surrounding areas, hotel recommendations and forums for guests to chat (and possibly arrange transport and accommodation sharing). This may not be the best idea for the older generation, but certainly the more tech-savvy would benefit. And, it’s FREE.

In short? Don’t presume your guests will simply Google the best means of transport to your venue, and the best places to stay nearby. Some will, others absolutely will not. And the information pack will be like a Holy Grail to them.

• Choose your battles

If you've been clear on your ‘no children’ rule, but you have guests who say they won’t be able to attend unless their little ones come along. Stand your ground. It’s unfair to bend the rules for some, and not others – especially when you may have other guests in the same boat, but haven’t said anything to you. Imagine Guest Number One rocking up with a whole brood, when Guest Number Two sold their liver on the black market just to get a sitter. Guest Number Two will not be happy.

However, on the flip side – you also need to know when to be lenient. If you have a guest telling you they’re allergic to fish (and you already paid up for a sea bass supper) but you didn’t ask about food allergies and intolerances – this is not the time to get tough. Speak to the caterers and ask them to change the main for the relevant guests, no matter how short notice. Pay the extra if you have to. You can’t mess with people’s health.

Second to that – always ask about intolerances when you’re sending out your invites, and ask your guests to include any details with the RSVP.

•            Finally - remain calm and be helpful. You’re the only one who can answer these questions.

If it’s already too late, the wedding day is looming and you didn’t think about the logistics in the early days, unfortunately you have to just grin and bear it. Take it for what it is – you didn’t supply the information in the first place, or at least not in the best way for your guests, and the only person who has all the answers is you. Be respectful, and try to help your guests out. If you blow your top, you could end up being a few guests down.

And you don’t want that – wedding food is expensive after all. 

Don't you bloody know it.

I knew the fiance was going to propose

I knew the fiancé was going to propose. I knew this because since our first date, we’d talked about getting married. Casually – like it was the most normal thing in the world.

“Ooooh, and we could have tables named after superheroes – or themed like ‘Gotham’ and ‘Metropolis’!”

“Yes! Amazing! And we’d get married in a castle – obviously. With huge candelabras and big windows.”

“Love that idea! I’m sorry – what did you say your name was again?”

We fell in love quickly. He told me he loved me after our very first kiss, and I felt the same way. Although it took me by surprise. Everything about those first few months was like walking on a cloud. It felt dreamy, surreal – in our own little bubble. So much so, that I never actually got around to telling anyone we were dating.

He first met my mum when we rocked up at her house, ring on the finger.

Awkward.

And so, because of all this build-up, I knew the exact date he would propose. Oh and also, I found the ring in his glove compartment a few weeks beforehand, and pretended not to notice.

Dum-de-dum… *look the other way*

“I need you to keep the 27^th September free.”

“Oh? And why’s that?”

“Because, I’ve got a surprise for you.” (giggles and looks a bit pink in the cheeks) “It’s REALLY good.”

Not so good at subtlety, my other half.

“Oh ok. I can keep it free.”

“And I’m sending you to get your nails done.”

“Right. Why’s that then?”

“Cause I think they’ll look nice.” He may as well have finished that sentence with – “when you have a ring on your finger”.

But I played the dumb blonde. “That’s nice baby, thanks.”

And so the long weeks passed – him bursting to tell me his secret and me dying from all the pretence.

The day of The Proposal arrived, and I was met with a little note – instructing me to arrive for my nail appointment at 10am, and to take a coat with me.

“Am I not coming home?” I asked. This was unexpected.

“No. You’ll be told where to head to next.”

And so he sent me on a treasure hunt. I had my nails done – and all the girls at the salon were ever so nice to me. Suspiciously so. They complimented me on what I was wearing, my hair, my skin – everything. It wasn’t normal. They were obviously in on it.

So I rolled with the punches.

“What are you doing with the rest of your day?” the girl filing my nails asks me – little twinkle in her eye.

“Nothing really.” Just, you know, getting engaged. “I’ll probably just go home, clean up.”

“Nothing planning for tonight then?”

“Well, I think my BF is taking me out. Nothing special.” All this pretence!

“I’m sure you’ll have a lovely time…” Giggle, giggle.

Bloody hell!

"Was he going to be up there, in one of the treatment rooms? Naked but for a bow tie, and down on bended knee?" 

- Bridal Box Studios 

 

So after I’d had my nails done, I rocked up to the counter to pay – knowing full well he’d already sorted it. But again, with the game-playing.

“Oh, your partner has already paid for this for you.”

“Has he really? Wow, that’s mighty nice of him.”

“And we have a few other things planned for you. Would you like to come upstairs?”

Holy shit! This part of the day I wasn’t expecting. Was he going to be up there, in one of the treatment rooms? Naked but for a bow tie, and down on bended knee? 

I started to go into a flutter. I wasn’t ready – I needed more time.

Panic over. The treatment room was empty.

“We’re going to start with a back massage, and then we have a facial lined up for you.”

“Wow.” A genuine surprise. “That sounds lovely.”

Whale music cranked to the max, I proceeded to get oiled up and rubbed down.

Bliss.

Once I’d dressed myself and walked back downstairs – “you look absolutely glowing, so radiant!” – I was handed an envelope with my name on it. The girls were congregating around me, all smiles. It felt like a scene from The Shining.

“I hope you’ve had a wonderful morning. Your partner asked us to give you this note. You are so, so lucky. Enjoy the rest of your day. I hope it’s perfect for you.”

Um. Ok… thanks.

So I trotted out of the salon, climbed back into my car and opened the note.

“I hope you’re feeling relaxed and pampered…” 

I grinned, my hands trembling a little bit. The note told me I had a hair appointment with my regular hairdresser. How had he even got in touch with her? No one even knew he existed yet.

I rocked up at her house, all sheepish and a bit shy. Like – yes I have a boyfriend. Soz for keeping that one a secret.

“Hello missus! Something you want to tell me…?”

And so my hair was cut, coloured and blow-dried, while I explained how we’d met and how well things were going.

“We’ve just been hiding away. You know how it is.”

“Well it’s good to see romance isn’t dead. Anyway –"  she thrust an envelope into my hands “ – you’ve got another note.”

OMG – I actually hadn’t been expecting all these little notes!

“You’ll find your next clue where you normally disappear to after 9pm, my sleeping beauty.”

Cheeky bastard – not my fault I’m always shattered.

“Right – best go and see what madness he’s done to my bed!”

I texted my mum en route.

“Listen mum, I’ve been seeing someone and I’m having the most irregular day. Pampered to within an inch of my life.”

She sent a reply back – “Ooooh lovely, let me know if I need to buy a hat. LOL!”

Ermm…

So I rocked up at home, and ran upstairs – two steps at a time. There was a note on the bed, a dress (new) hanging on the outside of my closet, and a *GULP* jewellery box on the dresser.

Shit! Was he just going to let me open it now? He’s not even here!

I opened the box. A necklace. Silver, dainty little thing with a diamond pendant.

“I was going to give you this package later, but seeing as you found it in my glove compartment, you may as well have it now.”

Hmmm… a red herring?

The note continued. “Prosecco in the fridge.”

Excellent.

“Pick you up at seven.”

I had two hours. So I ran a bath, poured a glass of bubbly and relaxed.

Wow. I was getting engaged. I started to get butterflies, giddy little flourishes through my body. And I smiled – a lot.

By the time he came to pick me up, I was halfway through the bottle and feeling giggly. He was wearing a dark polo shirt and jeans, hair all swept to the side. I gave him a kiss.

“You look handsome.”

“You look beautiful. Have you had a nice day?”

“Amazing day. Thank you for all my surprises. What have I done to deserve them?”

He shrugged, then clocked my outfit. “What happened to the dress I bought you?”

“Oh.” I pulled a face. “Sorry – I didn’t really like it.”

We had dinner in Manchester. We drank cocktails and talked over candlelight. Every time he moved I thought – “Is this it? Is this the moment?”

But it never was.

We arrived home, late, and I took off my make-up and put on my pyjamas. Maybe I’d got it wrong. Maybe he wasn’t going to ask. Still – I’d had a lovely day.

We settled down in front of the TV, put a film on.

“Just nipping the loo.” He disappeared, and I waited.

After a few minutes, he shouted my name. Bloody hell – did he need loo roll or something?

“Come up.”

I huffed, banged up the stairs after him, and pushed open the bedroom door.

There were candles everywhere, and rose petals on the bed. Everything was bathed in a warm glow, and there was a brown envelope on the pillow.

“You have one more surprise.”

I sat down, and he handed it to me. The parcel was tied up with string, and I pulled it open and started to unwrap the folds. Out dropped a piece of paper – it was the page of a book, torn from my favourite novel, Wuthering Heights. I picked it up, turned it over in my hands. One side was etched in golden calligraphy. I can’t even tell you how I felt in that moment, as I read the words.

Will you marry me?

When I looked up from the page, he was down on one knee. The box was open in his hands, glittering engagement ring nestled inside.

“I can’t imagine my life without you in it. Will you be my wife?”

I went all weird and shy, hand over my mouth. According to Hollywood, I should be leaping in the air, crying – shouting out ‘Yes’. Instead I just kind of giggled. “Um, ok.”

“Ok?”

I wiped my face, fluffed my hair up a bit. “No, I wasn’t ready. I’m ready now. Ask me again.”

I held out my left hand, expectantly, big wacky grin on my face. “Go on.”

He sighed, rolled his eyes. And asked me again. 

“I want it like this, but not..." - The eternal struggles of the creative bride

Have you ever been shopping for a nice dress, or new pair of shoes, and you know EXACTLY what you’re looking for, but you just can’t find it? No matter how frustrating, and how much it just doesn’t make sense – (But all I want is a high-neckline black maxi dress with a lace trim. Jesus, how difficult can that be??) – the aforementioned item just does not materialise. And that is because it doesn’t exist.

Because you invented it.

Here lies the eternal struggle of the creative bride-to-be.

If you’re wedding planning with the H2B, you’ll at some point reach that stage – (after all the frolicking under the blankets, grand ideas of a ceremony in a huge castle and cocktails aboard a yacht on the rolling waves) – where you start to assess The Theme.

The Theme is a frustrating little bastard, designed to make you slightly bonkers during the planning stage.

“Oh I absolutely LOVE that cute little gingham pattern, let’s use it on the table plan.”

“But that will totally clash with the contemporary, black-and-silver-monochrome-thing we’ve done ‘til now.”

“Bollocks, yeah. Of course it will. Oh what a fecking shame.”

Cue despair, misery and depressive episodes, because your wedding day won’t include ALL the things you love.

"The fiancé loves his geeky comic books and superheroes. I’m more of a classic literature kind of girl. So we decided to marry the two - some weird Marvel-Darcy sort of hybrid..."

Here’s a top tip: Ditch ‘The Theme’. It’s too restrictive and mind numbing. Do what makes you and your H2B happy and you’re onto a winner.

But please, please – keep some control over matters, or you’ll end up with a wedding breakfast resembling a car boot sale.

That said – we do have a theme. Or at least, we started off with a theme. The fiancé loves his geeky comic books and superheroes. I’m more of a classic literature kind of girl. So we decided to marry the two, and came up with some weird Marvel-Darcy sort of hybrid.

The common theme incorporated a lot of lace, hessian and natural tones, to dampen the wild, wacky colours of the other half’s favourite comic books.

And that was it – no steering off track (we once had a HUGE row about incorporating bottle corks into the mix. Wow – apparently that was NOT on his agenda. The whole thing was nearly called off) – so to keep the thing from going astray, we decided to do the whole thing ourselves.

Figures.

That one time I lost my job... three weeks before the wedding

What is it about those vague airy-fairy sentences you find in big, power-hungry businesses?

“We don’t want to run before we can walk.” (clearly)

“That’s something we should definitely tackle going forward.”  (what’s wrong with right now?)

And one I hadn’t come across before – “I’m going to have to let you go.”

Wow. Thanks. You make it sound like you’re doing me a favour.

But she wasn’t. She was, in a roundabout way, telling me that my job was no longer available. Three weeks before I prepared to walk down the aisle.

Of course, my initial reaction was just to stare at her. There was a long, empty pause where I heard my bank account empty.

“Right,” I said. “OK.”

“OK?” (Absolutely gutted. Think she’d been expecting tears.)

“Yep. OK.” (Shit, shit! What the hell am I going to do now?)

“You don’t have any questions?”

(Questions? Sure, I have questions. How am I going to pay my bills? That’s a question!)

“Nope. No questions.”

Twenty minutes later, I was out on the streets with my plastic bag (hadn’t got around to eating my lunch earlier) waiting for the fiancé to rescue me (we car-share – it’s a money thing).

“You’ll be ok, baby. We’ll get through it. We always do.” He tapped my leg, gave it a reassuring squeeze.

(Do we? When was the last time one of us lost a job?) For the record – this was a first-time occurrence in our relationship. That said, I knew he was just trying to keep my spirits up – so I smiled, wiped the snot and tears from my chin, and tried to be upbeat.

It lasted about 30 seconds.

That was a rough night.

"Up yours! Corporate, power-hungry corporations with your ill-fitting suits and your over-done middle-aged women in too-tight dresses.

I don’t need you anyway...." - Bridal Box Studios

But it got me thinking. Had I really been happy? Not really. Fifty-hour weeks in a huge organisation are unforgiving. There’s no time to reflect, or catch your breath between meetings, big projects and tight deadlines. The house is always a mess – because when do you have time to clean it? And your sex-life goes down the pan, because – when do you have time to do it?

I was an early-riser and an early fall-asleep-on-the-sofa-er. I saw the fiancé, and the dog for about two hours a day. One hour in the morning and one hour in the evening, before I’d zonk out after cooking dinner.

I was like an extra from The Walking Dead (without Michonne’s cracking figure)

I’d been miserable.

I started to think about the whole thing as a bit of a blessing. I’d been after a change of career for a while. But at thirty-years-old, with a wedding on the way and bills to pay, there was never going to be a ‘right time’ to up sticks train in a different field. And what would I train to do anyway? What did I enjoy?

Crafting.

Writing.

Making things.

That was my passion. That’s what I’d always loved. And I’d fallen back into it when we started planning the wedding.

I’d made EVERYTHING. My bouquet, table decorations – the groomsmen’s buttonholes. The fiancé and I had even made our table plan, order of service, wedding stationary and decoupage’d a postbox for cards and gifts.

I’d had so many girlie nights with a couple (several) bottles of prosecco, making paper roses and gluing our fingers together over a gossip.

And I’d loved it. It made me happy.

I’d never have quit my job to go it alone. Never in a million. It was just too scary, too uncertain. But now? Now I had a whole load of options, I could do whatever I wanted to.

Rather than feel scared, and deflated – I felt liberated.

So the very next day, I threw together a little online store and posted sample pictures of all my wedding accessories and memorabilia.

‘I can make this for you, send me a message.’

I thought little of it. “Let’s just see how it goes” – I said to the fiancé when he strolled in from work.

He seemed chuffed with what I’d done (he has his own business on the go, now one of our recommended partners, so he knows a thing or two about digital marketing) – “it’ll take off, I bet you.”

Within 24 hours I had my first order.

And Bridal Box Studios was born.

Up yours – heartless, money-grabbing businesses. I’m my own boss now.

Take a peek at our Etsy page... https://www.etsy.com/uk/shop/TheBridalBoxStudio