I am lucky enough to have recently returned to the UK armed
with a brand new name, a snazzy diamond and a hunky man on my arm. I am that
mystical creature – foreign to all brides-to-be.
I am a newly-wed.
The newly-wed is a daunting, and frightening thing – which the
bride-to-be holds in high esteem, awe and – to some extent – envy. The newly-wed
strikes fear and uncertainty into the heart of the anxious, stressed-out bride-to-be,
and poses some soul-searching questions.
How the hell did she do it?
Why wasn’t she as stressed and scared as I am?
Can I possibly ever be that happy?
These are reasonable questions, especially when you’re
living the all-encompassing life of a wedding planner, partner, household
runner and full-time-job-holder – simultaneously. But honestly, I can assure
you that there is a light at the end of the tunnel and your day (and days
beyond) will be something special. But there is a certain amount of realities
to accept, to help your day run as smoothly as possible.
The trouble with planning something as big as a wedding (the
average engagement lasts two years, which is 730 long days of scrutinising over
just one, little day) is that you run through every tiny detail – along with
that detail’s alternative – around a million times an hour.
In your head, you have the perfect day, organised down to a
tee. What you will eat, what time you will eat – the amount of time between
getting married and eating; the amount of time between eating and then eating
again. How you’ll entertain your guests, how much champagne to ply them with
(and will that be too much? Or too little?) How long the speeches should last
before your guests become bored, what time drinks should be served till – what drinks
will actually be served. How far there is to walk, how much room there is to
dance, how much time there is to dance –
You get the idea.
But here’s the thing. Timings overrun. The food isn’t always
eaten. Guests can choose not to dance. And some people don’t even like
champagne.
Take my day as an example.
I wanted to make an entrance. I wanted to be graceful and
gorgeous – I wanted to make my groom cry. There was a particular point in my ‘entrance’
music that I wanted to walk down the aisle (big shout out to Ludovico Einaudi).
I would listen to the music at home and I would know the exact point when each
of my bridesmaids should walk down the aisle (sad – I know). And I knew the
exact moment I would follow on – right at the peak of the track. It would be
beautiful – everyone would cry and I would feel overwhelmed with joy.
Did that happen?
Did it bollocks.
What actually happened was this…
I didn’t even hear the music because I was hidden away down
some steps waiting for my big moment. I waited until I got bored and then told
my Dad it was time to make a move. At this point I realised I’d never actually
practised walking in my dress – I’d only ever stood in the mirror in the bridal
shop and twirled around in it. Cue me – tripping over my dress, hitching it up
around my waist whilst telling my Dad to just ‘let me walk myself, because you
keep standing on it’ whilst everyone fell around laughing at me and my fiancé called
out from the altar – ‘do you need a piggyback, love?’
Was it the moment I imagined? No.
But did it make the day all the more special? Of course it
did. Who doesn’t like a clumsy bride, a giggle and a little bit of tension
broken?
The key is to let the day unfold as it wants to. In reality,
you just can’t plan for every little thing. But you can smile, relax, and enjoy
every precious moment.
Give yourself too much time to get ready
My wedding morning was ever so relaxing. So much so, that I
was still sitting around drinking cups of tea and watching ‘Say Yes To The
Dress’ at 10am, when I should have been putting my make-up on. I watched my MOH
apply her make-up and have her hair done (big shout out to The Catwalk Look
Hair) thinking ‘Doesn’t she look lovely? What a fabulous day we’re going to
have’ – at which point I was promptly told to ‘just get in the shower’.
At around 10:30am I decided to ‘pop off and do my make-up’ –
bearing in mind that I had planned to be ready, in my dress and relaxing with a
bucks fizz by 11am – at which point I had a make-up melt down and ran –
screaming – into my MOH’s room, to inform her that I had ‘gone flaky’ and there
was a ‘weird contour line which wouldn’t blend.’
After a mild panic (!!!!) I decided there wasn’t enough time
to do it all again, so I scrubbed just one side of my face clean to redo it. I
then had my photographer (big shout out to Golpys Photography) desperate to
take a ‘make up shot’ whilst I ran around wearing a veil, a dressing gown, a
melted face and glugging back bucks fizz (minus the orange juice) and screaming
for someone to ‘just answer the door’ – as the rest of my bridesmaids and
ushers arrived all at once.
Top tip? Just don’t do what I did. Have a lovely, relaxing
morning by all means, but please give yourself an extra two hours to get ready
than you normally would. This isn’t a trip down the off-licence – it’s your
wedding day.
Do something ‘normal’ to stave off nerves
I was the first person to wake up on my wedding morning. My
MOH was softly sleeping in the bed beside me, and my mum was off in her own
room (jammy) snoring away. I woke at 3am with a slightly groggy head (too much
prosecco the night before) and lay awake till about 6am. All the while, the
nerves started to creep in. So I decided to get up and do something to keep me
occupied.
We were staying in adjoining apartments – my groom, step
kids and groomsmen were in the one next door – and I’d brought breakfast items
for all of us. So, I made everyone breakfast. All seven of us. By the time I’d made seven bacon
and cream cheese bagels, cups of tea and glasses of juice, the nerves had gone.
I think something about that normal activity just made me feel grounded.
I particularly enjoyed sneaking into my groom’s apartment,
delivering breakfast and having a cheeky snog. I know it’s not traditional, but
being in touch with my groom throughout the morning made both of just feel even
more excited. Especially when I called him at about 10am ‘for a chat’ and he
told me he was at the park with the kids playing Pokemon Go. As you do. No pressure
to get ready for a wedding or anything (not that I am one to talk).
Take some time out, just the two of you
Your wedding day will go super-fast. I know that everyone
says this and you’re probably sick of hearing it, but it really does. I was
chatting to the staff at our venue (big shout out to Louise, Fiona and Alex at
Avenham Park) about changing the tables around for the evening, when my mind
was still in ‘I do’ mode. Blink and you’d miss it. So it’s really important
just to take some time out with your new hubby – even if it’s a quick walk back
to the room to change your footwear (my flat pumps were a godsend).
A little bit unorthodox – but we actually had a campervan
come to pick us up at around 9pm, and take us for a little spin for an hour so
that we could have some alone time. It wasn’t intended that way. We were
originally leaving the party early and going back to our apartment, but as the
weeks went by we decided we’d actually quite like to stay and party. But we
loved the campervan idea, so we kept the booking and it was one of my favourite
moments of the day.
We were married at The Belvedere at Avenham Park, which is a
small Victorian building hidden away on top of a hill and behind some trees at
the park. The reception was at the other end of the park, in the Pavillion café
– so we decided to drive back up the hill in our campervan and crack open the
bubbly at our ceremony venue, afterhours.
Our driver, Rob (big shout out to Fab
VW) parked outside the Belvedere and then toddled off for a little walk,
leaving us to sip our champagne and chat about the day. It was the most
beautiful thing, being back in the place we’d been married just hours before –
the decorations and chairs packed away, just a scattering of confetti on the
floor, the lampposts flickering on in the twilight and being able to reflect in
the absolute pure silence around us.
It was the perfect finishing touch. And of course, when we
arrived back at the reception, we partied like animals.
Make a plan to avoid the bar at all costs
If you’re lucky (like I was) you’ll land yourself a magical
Prosecco Fairy to keep your glass topped up all day long (big shout out to the
MOH). This, by the way, was not intentional. Taking money along with me was
just not at the forefront of my mind – neither was taking the key to the
apartment or anything else mildly practical. My MOH (and all my best girlies)
ensured I was never without a drink. If ever my glass was empty, another would
be placed in my hand. This is one detail which didn’t enter my head before the
big day (shock) but it really did make a huge difference. I can’t imagine
wasting time at the bar queuing, or going ‘thirsty’ for long periods of time.
My day flowed like a dream – and it’s something I would recommend to every
bride-to-be.
But if you’d prefer to be more prepared than I was (and who
wouldn’t?) give your MOH, or a close family member, a wad of notes several days
before the big day. Tell them you want to have a full glass throughout the
whole evening, and here are the funds for said glass top-ups.
Stress-free and no need to feel indebted.
Accept that there is a 99.9% chance you won’t consummate on
your wedding night
There’s just too much champagne consumed. Too much dancing and
too many long and emotional hours.
Regardless of those ‘you’re gonna
get it good, later’ longing looks across the table – or those flirty kisses and
cheeky gropes on the dancefloor – by the time you get back to your room on your
wedding night, you’ll be lucky to get out of your clothes unscathed, let alone
anything else.
Although – big shout out to the MOH for trying to encourage
the mood. Waking up the following morning with confetti on our hair, a ‘congratulations’
banner strewn on the bed underneath us, and finding a candy thong and nipple tassles
in the ‘honeymoon pack’ she’d left beside the bed for us, was worth a giggle
and a ‘fair play’.
Although her plan backfired when we decided to wear said
items and whatsapp pictures to her. I’m told this is a sight she can never
unsee.
So that’s it. My top tips for a fabulous wedding day – do with
them as you wish. But just remember this one thing –
Smile often.
Smile even if one of your guests has pissed you off, or if
you manage to prick your arm on your groom’s buttonhole and get blood all down
your dress (yes, that happened). Smile if the music is a bit crap, if your food
is served late – smile if your feet are sore and you just don’t want to pose
any more for the camera. Smile if the sun doesn’t shine – or if it does shine
and you feel too hot.
Just smile. You’re a married woman now – your hubby is the
hottest thing since sliced bread, all your best mates are here, your mum is
giving it large to some dodgy funky house track, and your baby brother actually
made an effort and wore a suit (hurrah!)
This is your day. Just enjoy it. And if all else fails – give
that empty glass a tap. Your Prosecco Fairy will sort you out.
